A Synopsis from last night's Poly 201 discussion on: Metamours (by Zoe Duff of VanIsle Poly)

Meta- (from Greek: μετά = "after", "beyond", "with", "adjacent", "self"), is a prefix used inEnglish (and other Greek-owing languages) to indicate a concept which is an abstraction from another concept, used to complete or add to the latter.

 

Amour is the French word for love, an intense feeling of affection. It may also refer to: Amour(musical), a stage musical written by Michel Legrand ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amour

 

So...."metamour" is "after the musical"?   oh....like applause?  woohoo!!!   I"m the applause???  oh yeah bbbbaby    (chuckle)

 

Well....maybe but no... a metamour is

 

In a polyamorous relationship, where your lover has more than one lover, a metamour is the name given to your partner's other lover(s).
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?...metamour

 

 

Interesting discussion at the Poly 201 group meeting last night.  This is a smaller group than the Poly 101 and more devoted to the fine tuning of practical poly than basic information and concepts.

 

Discussion revolved around the necessity of some relationship between ourselves and the other partners in our lovers' lives.  The relationship between same sex persons in any poly configuration being a key factor in the success of said configuration according to Deborah Anapole in her various books on the subject.  Key factors in the development of  relationships between members of the poly family around you were identified as:

 

1. Time to develop any kind of a relationship

2. Accessibility of the metamours to each other (less likely in a long distance scenario etc)

2. Inclination or compatibility considerations of the individuals and their relationship styles.

3. Responsibility of the linch pin (the lover who is shared) to introduce, facilitate and perhaps referree the relationship developing

4. Investment required of the metamours - (ie if the girl friend is going to be a long term hanging around the house situation then the live in partner would have greater investment in developing a friendship with her and vice versa)

5. The impact of the level of honesty in the lovers' other relationships on you as metamour and the comfort level of being everything from possibly intrusive, kind of involved to completely detached from the particulars of other relationships. (ie knowing that your partner's partner doesn't know about your relationship with her)  ( ie poking at him to call her etc and vicariously participating in the courtship)

6. The poly configuration involved.  A big poly inter-loving household requires much more relationship development than a network of lovers who might not ever come into social contact with each other.

7. Whether you are a primary partner or trying to relate to the primary partner or another non-living in the house partner.

 

Very interesting discussion. 

 

Zoe

“One determined person can make a significant difference; a small group of determined people can change the course of history.”    Sonia Johnson -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~Van Isle Polyamory  http://www.vanisle-polyamory.com  inclusivelyalternative.tribe.net